Saturday, January 24, 2015
I DRANK A WHOLE BOTTLE OF TURPENTINE
I drank a bottle of turpentine and started to convulse. I was so drunk I started to hallucinate, and as my body twitched in strange rhythmic pulse, I could see crowds start to form around me and gasp in awe. My hat fell off and people stated throwing coins into it, then subsequently larger notes, and even entertainment managers began throwing their business cards in and telling me I had "it". Before I knew it I had been whisked away to a television studio and was jerking and twitching for a worldwide audience, who hooted and brayed in admiration of my avant garde movements. I was, in a way, on top of the world. But I could never be sure if it was really happening or just a hallucination from drinking that whole bottle of turpentine.