Thursday, December 24, 2015
I WALKED INTO A SPIDER WEB
I walked into a spider web and it coated my whole body, and as I span around it rolled me tight like a cigar. A giant came along and lit me up and puffed on me, but the taste of my burning hair was so acrid that he dropped me into the ocean. I floated in my web for 99 days and then I was fished out of the water by Kate Bush, who was travelling the seas alone in an old rusty trawler. She sang for me and it was so mellifluous that that my hair was repaired and the spider-web unwound from me and drifted lazily up into the heavens.